people sometimes ask why i chose the word self.
for a long time,
i thought i was writing about the individual.
today,
i understand something different.
i have never carried myself alone.
before i knew my own name,
someone spoke it with love.
before i could care for myself,
someone cared for me.
before i could find my way,
someone walked beside me.
the self i know today was shaped in relationship.
by family.
by faith.
by neighbors.
by teachers.
by friends.
by coworkers.
by those i have loved.
by children.
by people who stayed.
and even by those whose absence taught me what presence means.
when i say self,
i am not speaking about becoming separate.
i am speaking about belonging.
about being formed through relationship.
about carrying forward what others first carried for us.
perhaps the self is not something we discover alone.
perhaps it is something we learn to recognize through the people who have loved us,
made room for our humanity,
walked beside us,
prayed for us,
welcomed us,
challenged us,
forgiven us,
and reminded us who we are.
to care for the self
is also to care for the relationships that make a self possible.
this is the self i honor.
peace be with you.