Solidarity Requires Surrender
For those who say they stand with us — but only when we’re small.
We hear it everywhere.
“We’re survivor-led.”
“We believe in justice.”
“We stand in solidarity.”
But solidarity is not a slogan.
It’s not a campaign.
It’s not something you say — it’s something you lose for.
Because real solidarity isn’t about bringing survivors in.
It’s about asking:
What are we willing to give up for their rise?
We are not waiting to be included.
We’ve already been leading — with or without acknowledgment.
So are we willing to loosen our grip on power?
To release the titles that center us?
To dismantle systems we benefit from — even if we didn’t build them?
Because our healing will cost something.
It might cost you comfort.
It might cost your role.
It might even cost the vision you had for the space — if that vision wasn’t built with us in mind.
If the only way we can belong is by shrinking, then this isn’t solidarity.
It’s suppression dressed up as inclusion.
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And we’ve seen this before.
We’ve seen those who say they support us —
until we challenge them.
Until we grow beyond them.
Until our vision requires theirs to transform.
We’ve seen how quick “safe spaces” become hostile
when we stop being agreeable and start being honest.
Performative allyship folds fast
when it’s asked to give up the mic.
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So here’s what true solidarity asks:
- Will you stay when we’re grieving?
- Will you listen when our truth is inconvenient?
- Will you make room for us to lead — even if we lead away from you?
- Will you cheer when we rise,
even if we rise outside your structure?
- Will you tear down the titles, the programs, the plans —
if they’re keeping us from our full liberation?
Because our freedom does not fit inside your framework.
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Reflection Prompts
For journaling, discussion, or quiet return:
> What have you had to surrender for your own freedom?
> What are you no longer willing to shrink for?
> What vision of freedom are you building — and who is it for?
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Affirmation
> My growth is not betrayal.
> Their discomfort is not my burden.
> I deserve spaces that don’t shrink me to fit.
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With love and honor,
Chriseithia
Founder of Black Self Wellth™
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This is sacred work, not open source.
Please honor the heart behind these words.
All rights reserved © Chriseithia Collins | Black Self Wellth™