Self-Love Is Power: Why It’s More Than a Trend— And What It Really Means*by
Self-love isn’t about fixing ourselves.
It’s about unlearning the lie that we were ever broken.
It’s not selfish.
It’s not fluff.
It’s not a trend or a luxury.
It’s survival.
It’s strategy.
It’s spirit.
It’s biology.
It’s care for the nervous system.
It’s the quiet return to a self we were told to leave behind.
It’s power we no longer give away.
Self-love is protest in silence.
A loud kind of freedom.
A ritual.
A reclamation.
A return.
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Self-Love Is Not a Prerequisite for Love
You don’t have to love yourself first in order to love others.
You don’t have to feel whole to deserve belonging.
You don’t have to be healed to offer healing.
Some of us were taught that unless we have self-love, our love doesn’t count.
That’s not true.
You can still love deeply—even if you doubt yourself.
You can still be loved—especially when you can’t see your own light.
You can still show up for others—while learning how to show up for yourself.
This journey isn’t about proving anything.
It’s about remembering: you’ve always been worthy of love.
Whether you feel it yet or not.
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What Self-Love Looks Like
- Boundaries that protect your peace
- Saying no without apology
- Saying yes to softness, to rest, to joy
- Forgiving yourself—especially when it’s hard
- Laughing again when grief said you wouldn’t
- Believing you belong even when no one else makes space
- Looking in the mirror and whispering: *I’m still here*
This isn’t about face masks.
It’s about remembering joy, reclaiming safety, and restoring dignity in a body the world tried to erase.
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Self-love speaks to:
The one who wonders, “How could I love myself after all I’ve carried?”
The one who’s been made to feel too much, too broken, too far gone.
And yes—the one who has caused harm. The one who is still learning how to be accountable without hating themselves. The one who asks, “Do I still deserve love after what I’ve done?”
Self-love says: You are still worthy.
Not because you’re perfect—but because you’re here.
Self-love does not excuse harm. It does not skip over accountability.
But it reminds us: even in our reckoning, we are still sacred.
Even in our mess, we are still becoming.
Even if we hurt others, we are still allowed to heal—if we choose to do so with truth.
Your past does not cancel your worth.
Your scars are not disqualifications.
They are proof you made it.
Proof you’re still becoming.
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Self-Love Is Also Scientific
What our ancestors whispered in prayers and passed down in silence—
science is finally catching up to.
Neuroscience now confirms:
- The way we speak to ourselves literally changes our biology.
- Our stress.
- Our emotions.
- Our ability to heal.
Self-love isn’t a feeling.
It’s a rewiring.
A radical reclaiming of the body.
A soft revolution.
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Why Scent Matters: Our Healing Has Always Had a Smell
We’ve always healed through scent.
Before there were wellness brands, we had eucalyptus in the bath.
Vicks on the chest.
Hair grease on the stove.
Sage, smoke, lemon rinds, and soil.
Scent was memory.
Scent was prayer.
Scent was how we held on when trauma tried to pull us out.
And scent still matters—because it reaches the limbic system,
the part of the brain where memory, survival, and emotion live.
When we pair a scent with an affirmation, we are not just calming the body.
We’re building new rituals.
We’re writing new stories.
We’re coming home.
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Our Affirmations Sound Like Us
They don’t always sound like “I am whole.” Sometimes they sound like:
- “I’m not the one.”
- “I am logged off emotionally.”
- “Fix your crown.”
- “Sunday naps.”
- The quiet dignity of doing your edges.
- “I love my Blackness. And my Islam is not a conflict.”
- A look that says I got you.
Those are affirmations, too.
We just didn’t always call them that.
We’ve always affirmed ourselves—even when the world didn’t.
We don’t need new words.
We just need to remember ours.
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You Are the Healer
Not the oil.
Not the affirmation.
You.
The one who survived.
The one who’s rising.
The one who’s grieving.
The one who’s learning.
The one who still shows up—even in pieces.
You don’t need to borrow someone else’s healing method.
You don’t need permission to rest.
You don’t need fixing.
You are the way.
You are the medicine.
You are the ritual.
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Love as Resistance. Love as Liberation.
To love ourselves—
in a world that profits from our silence, our shame, and our struggle—
is rebellion.
To forgive ourselves, to forgive each other,
to thrive without apology—
is resistance.
Because how dare we love ourselves in a world that tells us not to?
How dare we rest, recover, and rise anyway?
And yet—here we are.
When we truly love ourselves,
we see that same light in others.
That love becomes armor.
It becomes medicine.
It leaves no room for envy, hate, or competition—because we know:
there’s enough.
We are enough.
Self-love doesn’t just heal us.
It unhooks us from scarcity.
It reminds us that someone else’s beauty, brilliance, or becoming is not a threat—
it’s a mirror.
Self-love won’t undo the system.
But it can rebuild the root.
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A Soft Practice to Begin With
Light a candle.
Inhale a scent you love.
Say something kind to yourself out loud—even if it feels like a whisper.
Try:
- “I am sacred in my softness.”
- “I am not what I’ve survived.”
- “I am becoming, even now.”
- “I am the love I’ve been waiting for.”
Let it be yours.
Let your body feel what your mind may still be learning.
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And One More Truth—Because It Must Be Said
Self-love isn’t a fix for injustice.
It doesn’t erase violence.
It doesn’t stop white supremacy, or end poverty, or guarantee safety.
But what good is freedom if we don’t feel worthy of it?
What good is being seen if we still believe we don’t deserve to belong?
Self-love won’t undo the system.
But it can rebuild the root.
It’s what reminds us we deserve more than survival.
It keeps us from confusing hustle with healing.
It helps us build a culture where we don’t have to earn joy.
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Let This Be for All of Us
For the ones healing from harm.
For the ones healing from what we caused.
For the ones who are both.
For the ones just beginning.
Because worth doesn’t come from innocence.
It comes from existence.
And you’re still here.
You belong.
You are whole.
You are welcome.
Let’s build a world where self-love is not the exception, but the foundation.
Where healing is not performance, but presence.
Where our joy is not reward—but a right.
Where scent becomes memory.
Where ritual becomes resistance.
Where we remember: we’ve always healed like this.
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This is your return.
To breath.
To body.
To brilliance.
To being.
Let’s rise—rooted in love.
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With love and honor,
Chriseithia
Founder of Black Self Wellth™
This is sacred work, not open source.
Please honor the heart behind these words.
All rights reserved © Chriseithia Collins | Black Self Wellth™